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Posted 7 years ago with 185014 notes

malekbrosinc:

“but the government can watch you over the pokemon go app” watch👏🏻 me👏🏻 catch this 👏🏻 jiggly puff

Posted 7 years ago with 503857 notes
Unlikely simultaneous historical events

historyofromanovs:

seasonsmayklaine:

quantumblog:

jkottke:

A poster on Reddit asks: What are two events that took place in the same time in history but don’t seem like they would have?

Spain was still a fascist dictatorship when Microsoft was founded.

There were no classes in calculus in Harvard’s curriculum for the first few years because calculus hadn’t been discovered yet.

Two empires [Roman & Ottoman] spanned the entire gap from Jesus to Babe Ruth.

When the pyramids were being built, there were still woolly mammoths.

The last use of the guillotine was in France the same year Star Wars came out.

Oxford University was over 300 years old when the Aztec Empire was founded.

Pablo Picasso died the year Pink Floyd released “Dark Side of the Moon” (1973) 

Prisoners began to arrive to Auschwitz a few days after Mc'Donalds was founded. 

Coca-Cola is only 31 years younger than Italy. 

Marilyn Monroe and Queen Elizabeth II were born in the same year. 

The Ottoman empire still existed the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series.

The first wagon train of the Oregon Trail began heading out the same year the fax machine was invented.

Nintendo was founded at the same time Jack the Ripper was on the loose.

We put a man on the moon before we put wheels on a suitcase.

Oreos were invented the same year the Titanic sank.

The Mongols fought the Crusaders and the Samurais at the same time.

Cleopatra lived closer to the moon landings than she did to the building of the Pyramids of Giza.

Posted 7 years ago with 210595 notes

pro-gay:

pro-gay:

pro-gay:

The gaydar is a multifunctional tool and the straights not only don’t have it, they also think its only for spotting gay ppl

Other settings:

- Spotting homophobes before they speak
- Spotting gays to avoid
- Spotting iconic songs
- Spotting the safest and quickest route back home so you don’t get beaten or killed after school
& many more

What the straights have is a cheap imitation which is really downgraded and has only 1 function called “stereotyping”

Posted 7 years ago with 226684 notes
yourphysicsiskarkatrocious:
“ hapabap:
“ nazerine:
“ plasmalogical:
“ paxamericana:
“ Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers
”
good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit...
View high resolution

yourphysicsiskarkatrocious:

hapabap:

nazerine:

plasmalogical:

paxamericana:

Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers

good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day

I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them

No, no, guys, look closely.

This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos)

This is obviously an organ harvesting operation.

Y’KNOW, THAT *WOULD* EXPLAIN A LOT…

Posted 7 years ago with 56547 notes

acoolguy:

girl: *shows me the tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue trick*

me: do that to my weenger

Posted 7 years ago with 4709 notes
can we pretend that airplanes in the nighr sky are like shooting stars?

woodmeat:

no homo we smoking dicks right now, dicks right now dicks right now

Posted 7 years ago with 127389 notes

bighuge:

remindish:

bighuge:

bighuge:

bighuge:

me when i love you!

image

me when i freakin’ love you!

image

ME WHEN I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

image

This is a good shitpost

actually this is a LOVEPOST but you do you i guess

Posted 7 years ago with 50706 notes
Anonymous asked: how do you say "blow me" in spanish?

cabronaa:

Vamos a la iglesia

Posted 7 years ago with 84864 notes

lychgate:

oipep:

oipep:

wheres that meme with the guy dressed as a flower begging to be peed on, asking 4 a friend

image

honestly have i talked about how this is the funniest meme ive ever laid eyes on? the one guys worried expression in the second panel contrasting with his friends bewildered one. the ellipsis. the capitalization on “not’. the betrayal. the dawning of realization on the first guys face when he realized he was going to kill this poor man. the unshaved face. the fact flower man is on his knees with his back arched. every aspect of this comic is working together in perfect harmony to make all my time spent on this website well-spent

The extra amount of sad the guy gets from panel three to four, the fact that one gesture calls for fingers and nothing else does, the smaller font in panel one as if he’s trailing off in a whisper but partially also to fit on the page

Posted 7 years ago with 147651 notes

seaofdreams:

tbh if i was given the chance i’d trade my uterus for a bag of Doritos and a cool looking rock

Posted 7 years ago with 33921 notes

bootyscientist:

youngharlemnigga:

swolizard:

eod2007:

swolizard:

I aint ever tagging shit as NSFW bitch you at work get the fuck off tumblr and earn that skrilla I aint sensoring the bootyass and tiddybreasts I reblog cause you wanna not be a productive member of your team

Is there an American translation for this?

that depends

are your lips and chin ever gonna come out of hiding?

image

Goddamit man

he bouta drop that drone on ya house boi u betta turn ya location off

Posted 7 years ago with 55427 notes
squirrel4lyfe:
“ c-bassmeow:
“ Jcjdjdjdjjdjdjfjfjcjc I almost peed outside of the toilet bowl omg
”
NOOOO 😲
”
View high resolution

squirrel4lyfe:

c-bassmeow:

Jcjdjdjdjjdjdjfjfjcjc I almost peed outside of the toilet bowl omg

NOOOO 😲

Posted 7 years ago with 580829 notes

cattink:

every time i say something witty: please don’t think i’m flirting. i just want to establish myself as the funniest one here.

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